Attachment

It’s a little odd how quickly I become attached to things. It’s a kind of strange combination between parental love, friendly camaraderie, complete loathing, and admiration. What’s even funner, is that some people are coated with Teflon to me, in this regard. Some people I could care less about, but the ones I do, I get odd about. I think you knew this.

It doesn’t matter whether they’re in a book, a TV show, or a movie, I’ll feel real, often weird emotions for that person. Famous actors gone druggies make me particularly soft. Suicide is never someone’s fault, no matter what anyone has ever told you. And whether or not you’ve been told, you should know its your job to make sure no one, and I mean it, considers that as their last best option. If I know you, I’m pretty much already loving you. I’m quiet; it might not be apparent. But if you think I like, if you like you charm me, you have an enchanting smell, you think you’re amazing to my life and existence– I probably hate you. I hate a lot of real people, though, so don’t be offended.

But like I said, I attach much more quickly to fake people. TV shows are safer; plus what’s better than a friend you can watch an entire season on DVD of? I think it’s because I don’t trust easily, but trust me (ha), when I do, I won’t go anywhere. I’m kind of like a dog, only much cuter.

Reasons We Love

I don’t think I’ve ever been so far from everyone I love. I know I’ve burned a lot of bridges, but I still can’t keep this feeling away. An urge to break down, to sit, to listen to my own music, to sleep, to wash, to be me. I don’t feel like me anymore. I’m not sure I’ve ever been away from my family like this before; it hurts, as blunt and boring as it might be.

I wish I could give a reason for this nonsense. I wish I could provide meaningful substance to something that I’m sure people everywhere are trying to figure out for themselves. All I know for certain, is that I scared. No, not scared; there’s just an immense, diffused weight of apprehension. It’s almost beyond belief to feel like everything you knew is gone, without really knowing what that is. I may not know why, but I understand now that there is a reason. I just feel like I’m missing it.

We’re All In This Together

I hate pretty much everyone I know. It feels rotten to be forgotten so quickly. People told me this would happen, and I don’t really blame them. This thing happens when we finish things this big. Funny thing is, it High School, doesn’t seem so big anymore. I’m sure this is what High School Musical 3 will be about, and I’m sure Disney will throw some magic in to make everything happy again. But for those of us not taking bubble-baths and living instead, I don’t know what to say.

There was a moment, I saw a shooting star. They’re not really even shooting stars. I realized there’s at least one person that I still like, and I’m in it with you until the last second you need me. As long as I have plenty of iced tea. It’s the start of something new, I know. I fucking hate that song. But I really mean it, it’s made me better being around you, and I don’t intend on stopping now. As long as there’s that, we really are in this together.