Drinking for 11

Drinking for eleven, that’s just what I do,
When i’m not with you,
My heart goes to bed

End of the bar, that’s just where I’ll be,
Don’t try and come find me
Cause i’m already dead

With one eye tied upon the open road
I feel your presence and I can’t let it go
It moves so slowly as it creeps into my mind,
Steals every breath I have and leaves my heart behind

Wanna know what you’re feeling if your feeling alone
I wanna hear if you still care
The last time I remember you was the last time I wasn’t scared

When the nights start fading and the mornin’ arrives
I wanna still feel you around
Will you creep into my head again and pick me up off the ground
Once more and tell me what you’re fighting for

Gotta try gotta try for tomorrow
When you can’t see through to day
There’s nowhere left to stay

Sometimes I feel like I’m out here all alone
Just one in million stuck with no place left to go

The fear steps up to me with every move that i make
Following close behind my soul it wants to take

I Give Us a Century

We’re so fucking retarded. All of us, band kids, honors kids, Corona students, US Citizens, and humans alike. I see our mouths moving, but all I hear is, “I am completely unqualified to live.” Can we be any more insensitive? I am really disappointed in myself, disenchanted with associating with you. Learn to be nice, try really hard. It might be worthwhile. Pay attention to what’s happening. Stop playing the game.

Apathy is amazing. One day, after one book, someone will tell you that they want to make a difference in the world. Someone is going to tell me, I am going to tell myself that I am sick of playing the game. I am going to be excited, you are going to dance to a new tune. We will walk with pep, we will accuse the litterers, we will stop the destruction before it is too late! Until it stops me from getting my coffee at Seattle at my whim, I will do this. When this starts to damage your rank, you will appear well and good to all who look upon you, while their eye is on you– no more after that. In a world we we’re all just looking out for number one, how does humanity continue? Does capitalism have a place in our ideals? How does the public school system work with the thought of cooperation and the betterment of everyone? We know what’s good– we can define utopia, but we continue to claim ignorance. I am comfortable here, so are you. Are we really going to move?

The icing comes in two cruel, evil ploys. My generation feels far too jaded and put down to do anything about it. Who are we to say anything when we’re so young, “I’m only 17, what real difference can I make?” Conversely, those that are beginning to cross the hill are under the impression that it’s too late to make a difference. Cyclic, yes; cruel, definitely; our fault, you’ve got it. My only remedy comes (as it usually does) disguised as someone else’s words, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead has a point everyone already claims to know. Stop being lazy.

The only real question is what do we do now? Servatis a prelelulum. Servatis a maleficum. I don’t know, that’s why I am asking you.

The Skill

It’s amazing, it’s really the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen, ever. Ever. I’m really glad there’s still things of humanity to teach people.

I just finished the biggest step I have ever taken in this situation. I am so proud of myself– four whole weeks of triumph. It’s times like this that really make me feel worth while. I got a new the other day that really proved that I was on the right track. The best part is, I’m on the right track because I want to be. Pit is cool, too.