The past week has been foggy with challenges and obstacles that I honestly didn’t think I would handle gracefully, if at all. In-fact, if you looked on the surface, you might be appalled with the way I live my life for everything seems bad. A lot of shit went down and a lot of things went sour. Despite this, through the fog, I see happiness. I sought it and I was not disappointed.
The band has about five tempos at any given time. I’m quite tired of trying to pick a tempo to follow, and while I ought to be a “good listener” (I actually really am), I’m getting really sick of it. Indeed, I was so upset with the piece by the end of part two that I turned up past my usual limits. I can be really loud; I win, but I’m still the inferior one.
Inferiority is interesting, for me especially. Even though I finally have nearly everything going my way, the people I want to be around encircling my thoughts and life, and fun surprises around every turn, I still feel less-than-adequate. Maybe it’s just because you all are so much more incredible, or perhaps that it’s the fact that she compares me to you at every opportunity. At least I’m not compared to your failing aspects, yet.
Friendship mail is amazing. The person that invented it ought to receive a very large and long hug. Speed-bumps are awful, and unlike the happiness of some mail, I have no fondness for bumps in the road ahead of me. Yet, I’m starting to think that some things are okay, even if they’re bad. A lot of people are mad at me, for one reason or another (talk to me, please) and more have forgotten me. To most people, I’m little more than a name attached to Pit, which in itself, already has no friends. It doesn’t bother me, though. I see how happy you look and I no longer envy that. Granted, I may wish to partake in this love, but I’m satisfied with where I am right now.
Helen Keller once proclaimed, “When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don’t see the one that has opened for us.” Frankly, I’m so sick of living behind these closed doors, waiting for old things to reopen. I have so much good that I’m just now starting to see.
I choose happiness today, and it worked, despite the mess.