So that was the most humiliating thing I’ve done so far this summer. Yess. My transitions were über sexy, so that’s always good, but I felt dumb talking. Oh well; I really hate crowds. My group had no idea what was going on and that is always awesome. Haha.
Let it be known that again, I feel like a total jerk. A few people said hi tonight again, and whilst freaking out about which presentation to use, and I totally ignored them, or you rather. I’m a bad person; I apologize. Maybe you ought to just not say hi so I don’t ignore you; people scare me, don’t be offended. Please.
On a happier note, I rock. I’m just saying that because that’s how I feel in my mind. It’s pretty awesome. I got to talk to a lot of people I love a lot, and I’m really psyched about that. Ohhh I love you so much, I could just, I don’t know. This is getting really creepy. Sorry. So apparently Mr. R knows my name. That’s a huge change from the first year, and he’s a really cool guy. Too bad I won’t get the chance to really know him. It’s really quite a bummer that I won’t see most of you on the trip, you’re all red. That’s really the only thing getting me down right now.
Europe is sounding pretty fun, come to think of it. I’m a little worried about the nitpicks (who am I going to room with, sit with, will I see the red people, will my computer come along, etc.), but it really does sound like something to look forward to. Sure, there may be far more structure than I’m looking forward to, but yea, maybe it will be fun.
So a few people aren’t sharing my happiness. That sucks, for them, and us. Bahh! There’s really no reason to be upset when you have people that care about you, and guess what, you do! If anything, you’ve always got me (and while that’s not the best thing ever, it’s something.) Two think that everyone hates them and no one cares for them, and one thinks the world is going to collapse on her, and one was implying suicide (that was me, don’t worry.) Okay, so I’m not perfectly happy, but it should be our job to cheer them up and make them happy! I challenge you to prove to someone how much you care about them!
Now it’s random “happy-things” time. Emma is the cutest girl ever. She knew my name– that’s pretty special. She likes my sister too, so I’m pretty happy with her. Mr. O’learly said good evening to everyone as we left. Nothing big, but it was awesome anyway. I actually found myself quasi-dancing to happy music for once while I was getting these presentations ready. My computer situation is improving greatly, that rocks. I’m going shopping with Carter on thursday and then to a party! Google opened a “Summer of Code” camp-like thing. I don’t think I can participate really, my life is too busy with stupid vacations.
Speaking of vacations (I love when you totally know that was planned), I’m leaving for Boston on friday. I’m pretty happy about it. Sure, I’m upset about leaving everything behind, but I could be going to a worse place, like I don’t know, Iowa? Wait, screw that, I’m going there anyway. Family sucks.
We all know happiness can’t last forever, and I’ll be the first one to admit it. Blah on you. Sorry, that was rude. It’s just my luck that when I want to share my happiness, it blows up in my face. I’m trying not to be happy about it, I’m trying to be mad, but you know instantly how where your head is heading when the songs playing start getting depressing.
I had every intention of making this one happy, and I still want it to be, but I feel like unhappiness is creeping into everything I’m doing. However, despite all this, I remember the happiness I had just seconds ago. I know everything will be like that again, sometime. When sometime is, I’m not really sure.
I still want to eat in the dark, but I don’t know when, or who will attend. Or what we’re to eat. Speaking of eating, I have a whole [massive] bag of gummy bears to devourer.
Edit: After the depressing conversation, I had far too many good, meaningful ones to count. I’m not only moved by the compassion and understanding that some people show, I’m amused and saddened, overjoyed and yet distraught. It shouldn’t have to end this way, but goodbye anyway. For the first time, in a long time, I’m genuinely happy. Thank you.