Shoelaces, considering their physical size and their role in this world, make me disproportionally self-conscious. For one thing, my shoes are perpetually untied. This leads to major trouble in busy walk-ways and mini-depressions when I’m left behind by a group. To compound this situation, my shoes tend to only come untied while I’m casually sitting. Just sitting. ALthough I eventually identified the cause of this perplexing issue, I was vexed for many frustrating hours. What’s most problematic for me, though, is that no one else seems to be having the same problem.
It would be rude for me to imply that no one else ties their shoes. No, it’s obvious that most everyone does this, or we’d all be tripping all the time. I know this, but I still never see anyone actually doing it. I understand that many people start their day tying their shoes in the privacy of their own homes, but I think it’s a simply ridiculous not to think that at least some of those shoe come united throughout the day. Despite this, I have undeniable observational experience that people do not tie their shoes in public. I do, and I feel so ashamed for it.