I try so hard to please. I honestly do, and if you ever feel that I’m not doing a good enough job for you, please let me know so I can try to fix it. I am really dreadful when picking colors, so if you feel it will wash you out, let me know, but in a nice way (as in you’re not yelling). Don’t be offended when I tell you that I am looking for other people to show a project I am working on with; it is my job to do for school, not a personal romance. Most of all, please realize how much your words hurt, whether or not you mean them.
This week is an incredible challenge so far, and it can only get harder. PAS is still on the horizon. I have a myriad of tests to prepare for and a few major projects to even start. I realize a lot of this is my fault, but can you be a bit more sensitive? I have no room for these personal troubles right now.
Philosophy Club is tomorrow, meeting after school until 3:30. If you can make it, I think we’re discussing music and its impact in our lives, so I think a lot of you would have a lot to say. We’re also probably going to hear The Shins and Coheed, so if that excites you, you ought to come. After, a few of us have plans for coffee, just to make it official and such.
It’s amazing to me how the people that really shouldn’t care about me, do so incredibly. It’s funny how little some of us talk, but the incredible friendship we retain keeps us going beyond what should be humanly possible. One of these people gave me her heart necklace to cheer me up, and it did. Although, I must so it reminded me even more of how much other people can hurt. The beads on the necklace are little hearts in a variety of colors. It’s almost as if I can hold love and happiness in the palm of my hand.
We will be disappointed together.
I’m finally getting somewhere with homecoming. Dinner plans are afoot (and looking for people?) and the niceties secured. Really, there are just a few things to nail down a bit tighter.
Up until this point, I didn’t really believe people actually drank, smoke, etc. I always knew it was out there, but I never really put it to people I know. I was wrong, and you’re dating one of them. I’m ashamed.
PAS is looming ahead, and my hands show the effort I’m putting into it. I finally thought they were healing, but today, they turned into a bloody mess. I actually look like a stigmatic.
I guess what I’m trying to say is this: I need some love, for right now, I’m really busy to do what I request.
Have you ever noticed how some things that you think would be awful together actually turn out to be wonderful? For example, chocolate and mint is delicious.
Edit: Apparently, since I like brownies, the following is true.
You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.
Do you think it works? I do.
What do you do when the one person you always go to for help is hurting?
I really hope you’re happy, I really do. There’s a reason for unreturned phone calls, unhappy text, and missing photographs. If you don’t realize the hurt yet, stop smiling and open your eyes.
It’s not just her you’re hurting.
I went to church this morning with Lisa and Lily, sort of. I’ve actually wanting to reevaluate my thoughts on the nature of God (due to some narrow minded discussion in the forum). It was fun(ish). I’ve decided that the only reason I sign with the songs is because it’s the only place I feel safe singing.
I guess what I’m trying to say is simple: “Cheer the fuck up.”
After, we went to Seattle, and I finally got a punch-card there. I should have done it a long time ago (I’ve had five in three days). I think I’m addicted, but I also have to keep in mind that I’m not just going for myself, I’m going to talk to people. I’m so kind and generous. I need more coffee, now.