Self, you suck at life. Actually, I’m just kidding about that (sort of), but you are second-rate with a pen! It’s actually really funny, because you always say how much you love what you write and how much doing so means to you. I find hilarity in this, for now, I can’t even bear to read them! Even the topic, which once seemed so incredible, now seems bland and boring, not unlike your word-choice.
You are a very awkward person, self. Seriously, every other sentence, though it may make perfect sense to you, is actually incredibly awkward. Your attempt to expand your word choice is futile, for it actually just made things more awkward. Word choice is a major issue for you, as you seem to lack any knowledge of anything you try to use. Most of all, though, you’re too awkward.
Having lots of ideas isn’t a benefit, it’s a handicap. I thought you would have realized that you can’t allow yourself to think this much! You seem to allow these ideas flow like fountains, instead of the desired sludge. I’d really rather you go a mile deep and an inch wide, than the opposite. Why look at a broad spectrum when you can focus on one issue alone! Narrow fields of thought are good here. I’m trying to tell you to be more narrow-minded. Besides, this gluttony of ideas really proves to me that you have very few original ideas of your own.
One thing that’s really bothering me is your perpetual knack for starting things with conjunctions! Seriously, it’s about the most grievous error any writer can make (even though it’s perfectly acceptable in our language), and you shouldn’t even try it, unless you get smarter. I don’t see that happening any time soon; besides, no one will teach it anyway. Don’t start with conjunctions!
I guess what I’m really trying to go after is how murky your writing is. I’d surprised if you’re able to see your own feet; you’re drowning in your own poor excuse for words! Okay, occasionally you have a good idea, but no one can see it (except you, but that’s only because you know where to look), because you bury it with useless information that has no business being anywhere.
You may have done better this time, but you still can’t write. Eight may be your favorite number, but in this case, you need to learn to like ten better. Clarity is an issue, as it always has been and always will be if you can’t seem to learn from your mistakes. Conventions are alright, but still, you must realize that the grading is harsh and unforgiving; starting things with conjunctions is a bad idea, you just can’t do it.
It’s time to get over yourself. Self, I know that you usually love writing and you take pride in your work, but this is embarrassing. I’ve never considered you to be this bad, but they do. I guess this what it’s all about. Your work isn’t to be personal. What you write shouldn’t be for you. This is all about pleasing them and fitting a specific, uncompromising form. And you’re very bad at it.