Never before, in my entire life, have I felt so inadequate. Where do I begin to explain what I went through today? I just feel, well there’s no nice way to put it, bad. I feel really bad. Granted, compared to some, I may not be (I may even be good) but compared to them? I’m no where near their caliber and I feel as if I’m letting them down.
Sorry, I might have confused you. Today was our dress rehearsal for our percussion concert. The begginning was all fine and dandy after I ditched my music. In-fact, I felt really proud for sticking it to Scat and proving that I really am not reliant on my music. Right, so that was good. Xylophonia was a mess though. We all (save maybe Jeff) didn’t really remember our parts, so practice time we got. Goodie right? Nope, you see it was practice time with Scat and Dean.
Like I said, I am not match for the four people there, at least with my part. Second part is for someone good, I think, and that’s not me. The only thing I heard was how bad I am and how much I need to practice. I felt more inadequate in that hour than I have in my entire life. Deep stuff, and I actually mean it.
I didn’t say that everything had to be bad about this though! Quite to my suprsie, people do care. I was thanked for spending my time helping the group. That’s high praise and I truly appreciated it. Intrestingly, other people offered to help me, even giving me tips on how to work things out. All and all, I think everything is going to be okay. I may be inadequate, but I am going down trying. I have a challenge, friends who care enough to help me work that challange, and now, thanks to this day, the will to overcome it.